So, for the first time in my life, I left a movie theater in the middle of a movie. We even got in on "free" passes paid for by credit card points.
Spoiler alert! But seriously, I'm saving you time and money here.
The Hills Have Eyes. Awful. So many horribly cliche'd characters. Violence for the sake of violence. Gore for the sake of gore. Disgustingly gross mutant sexuality. Terrible "plot," if you can call it that. I was begging for them to kill at least two of the characters within the first 20 minutes. They all make the absolute stupidest decisions ever. Take a dirt road shortcut through the New Mexican desert? Sure! Terrible car accident in the middle of nowhere? Why don't we leave the women and 15 year-old boy behind, while the two adult men split up (!) to go find help? The dog runs off for the eighth time? Fifteen year-old boy should chase it a mile and leave the women and baby alone until after dark because he slips and falls - getting knocked out. One of the men who goes to find help, finds a crater full of old cars and decides to bring a teddy bear he found in one of these old cars back to his baby daughter. By all means, take the random (radioactive) teddy bear back to your baby girl.
Then the mutants show up for real. Don't even get me started. We left after one mutant beats the crap out of one of the girls and tries to rape her. Another mutant then attacks the other woman (the mother of the baby girl). So that he will leave her baby girl alone, she lets him suck milk from her breast. I'm serious. That's when we left. The is the same mutant that bit the head off a lovebird and turned it up to pour the blood in his mouth. I wish I could say we didn't even stay this long. But we did. There was also a man burning at a stake, another man blowing his own head off with a shotgun, and an ear in a Styrofoam to-go container. I think that about covers it.